Parenting Styles
Current researchers have agreed that there are four parenting styles: authoritarian, permissive, authoritative, and uninvolved. One’s culture, personality, education level, religion, socioeconomic status, family background, and parents’ parenting styles are some of the main factors contributing to our own parenting styles. It is important to note that I am speaking in general terms, and that not everyone uses one particular style all the time nor are the outcomes always the same.
Authoritarian
Always try to be in control and exert their control on their children
Strict rules to maintain order, without much expression of warmth and affection
Very critical of children for not meeting their standards
No explanations/options/choices provided
Tend to focus on the negative behaviors rather than on positive behaviors
“My way or the highway”/ “Because I said so”
Outcome: Children do not learn how to think on their own nor understand why their parents require certain behaviors. They may be high achieving, but low on happiness. Also, they tend to be obedient, submissive, have low self-esteem, and low social competence.
Permissive
Give up most control to their children
Make few, if any, rules and the rules are not consistently enforced
Do not like to be tied down with routines
Want their children to be “free”
Do not set clear boundaries or expectations for their child's behaviors
Tend to accept in a warm and loving way no matter how the child behaves
Outcome: Overwhelmed children who do not understand what is right or wrong. Children may seem “mature” but not developmentally appropriate. Tend to have issues with authority, aggressive and acting out behaviors. Rank low in happiness, and school performance.
Authoritative
Help children learn to be responsible and think about the consequences of their behavior
Provide clear boundaries, reasonable expectations for their children
Explain why they expect their children to behave in a particular manner
Warm and loving approach
Frequently “try to catch them doing good”
Reinforce good behaviors rather than focusing on the bad
Democratic approach giving age appropriate choices/options
Outcome: Children feel secure and loved. Generally, responsible, competent, and confident. As adults, they tend to be confident, successful, and happy.
Uninvolved
Places little demands on the child
Low responsiveness and little communication
Provides basic needs, but generally detached from their child's life
In extreme cases, these parents may be rejecting or neglectful
Outcome: Children lack self-control, have low self-esteem, less competent than their peers. These children tend to rank low across all life domains.
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