Many social scientists have attempted to explain the stages of psychosocial development, but I feel Erik Erikson explained it the best. He was a Danish-German-American developmental psychologist who was influenced by the works of Sigmund and Anna Freud, but unlike Freud’s stages of development, Erikson’s stages cover the lifespan and therefore more comprehensive. I will not bore you with the history of his work, but will explain my interpretation of his theory of development so it is user friendly when it comes to your child’s personality development. Without understanding “normal” development, it is hard to have realistic expectations from our own children.
The basic premise of Erikson’s stages is that our personality is developed based on our social interactions while growing up, especially with our caretakers. There will always be a conflict between two opposing concepts in each stage. Favorable or unfavorable outcomes are dependent on how this conflict is resolved. Each stage builds on the previous ones in order to lead to favorable outcomes. If one stage does not resolve favorably then emotional issues are likely to arise. Some may describe this as being emotionally “stuck.” Please see below for a general overview of Erikson’s developmental stages.
1. Trust vs. Mistrust (Infancy: 0-18 months)- At this early stage in life, the baby is entirely dependent on the caretakers, usually the parents. If parents provide basic needs, love, consistency, and secure emotional attachment then the outcome is favorable and the baby will trust parents and others and feel the world is generally a predictable and safe place. However, if this is lacking then the baby will mistrust people and develop fear of their world. An example of this is separation anxiety felt when the child is left in the care of someone else. Separation anxiety lessens as the child learns that the parent will return and hence, feel more secure.
2. Autonomy vs. Shame/Doubt (Early childhood: 18 months-3 years)- The focus of this stage is on the child developing a greater sense of personal control. The most important process here is toilet training. When children master this, they feel very proud of themselves and independence is encouraged. This is why there is so much fuss about how a parent toilet trains their child. Forcing toilet training or starting it too early can cause emotional issues for the child. Other important happenings at this time involve gaining greater independence over food choice, toys preferences, and clothing selection. When parents encourage children to seek independence in a loving and encouraging way, the kids feel secure and confident. If this does not occur, then they will feel inadequate and will develop shame and self-doubt.
3. Initiative vs. Guilt (Preschool age: 3-5 years)- Here, children explore and assert power and control of their world through play and other social interactions. Those who are successful at this stage feel capable and able to lead others. Conversely, if they do not successfully acquire these skills then they feel guilt, self-doubt, and lack initiative.
4. Industry vs. Inferiority (School age: 5- 12 years)- Now the child’s world has expanded to include the school and neighborhood although parents are still the most important figures in their lives. Through these various social interactions, children are learning new skills and gaining sense of pride with their accomplishments. Parents, teachers, and other adults who provide positive reinforcement encourage children to feel a sense of industry. However, if the important adults in their lives constantly focus on the child’s negative qualities then they will feel inadequate among their peers. Over time, this will result in an inferiority complex and poor self-esteem.
5. Identity vs. Role Confusion (Adolescence: 12 -18 years)- Parents probably fear this stage of development more than any other. It is a time when their child is no longer a “child” nor an adult. The teenager is trying to define who they are and how they fit into the world. This is the time when they start developing philosophical beliefs although it tends to be more idealistic than realistic. Peers are now more important than ever. However, parents should take comfort in the fact that although peers play an increasing role in your teenager’s life, the parents are still the most important influences. Peers have an impact when it comes to things like clothing and music, but parents still hold the cards when it comes to values such as education, self-discipline, drugs, sex, and faith. I should add that if parents have not built this strong foundation of values up to this point, then they do run the risk of their teenagers being influenced by peers in these areas. If parents have set up a strong foundation, then it may just be a matter of “riding out the storm” in many cases.
6. Intimacy and Solidarity vs. Isolation (Young adulthood: 18-35 years)- This is the time when people are exploring and developing strong personal relationships. This includes both romantic relationships and friendships. If people are seeking personal relationships, but do not succeed then they may feel isolated and can lead to emotional problems such as depression. Keep in mind that the skills learned in previous stages impacts later ones. For instance, not having a strong identity can have negative impact on personal relationships.
7. Generativity vs. Stagnation (Middle adulthood: 35-65 years)- As adults, we continue to build our lives with our family, friends, and career. People who are successful at this stage feel they have made positive contributions to the world through their interactions in their homes and communities. Those who do not feel this way, experience stagnation.
8. Integrity vs. Despair (Late adulthood: 65 years- death)- This is when our lives take a full circle when we start reflecting on how we have lived our lives. Do we have integrity about how we navigated life and gained wisdom through our experiences or do we have regrets and feel despair?
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