Those closest to me can
tell you that I often get on my soapbox and passionately talk about why
everyone needs a therapist! This is not to be pejorative by any means, but to
simply state the fact that our lives have become so complicated by countless
factors, that indeed, everyone can benefit from some kind of therapeutic services
at some point in their lives. Times have
changed with everything becoming more global every day with new technology such
as the ever expanding Internet, smartphones, social media, tablets, and we’re living longer with advanced
technology and medicine. Add to this
mix, the dynamics between families, friends, romantic relationships, work,
school, finance, health, politics, crime, safety issues, etc. However, time itself has not changed to reflect the
ever changing world and our lives. We still have just 24 hours in a
day…everywhere in the world. This
creates an increasingly pressurized situation waiting to explode, if people do
not get the help they need to cope with all of these changes we are facing. Many times, reaching out to family and
friends will be enough to cope, but during tougher times, this will not
suffice. This is perfectly fine because
everyone’s circumstances are different.
Often, people seek a
mental health professional when they are in a state of crisis. This is
certainly better than not getting help at all, but this is reactive. In fact, these are
the people I first started working with in my early professional career as a
therapist about thirteen years ago. Here, I worked with adults who constantly
operated in crisis mode and had persistent mental health illnesses like
schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, chronic depression, alcohol and drug abuse,
etc. I enjoyed my job, loved the people
I worked with, but something did not feel “right.” In the next chapter of my
career, I worked mainly with adolescents and few children who were involved
with the law and were living in detention facilities. Again, loved my job and the people, but
something was still “missing.” Listening
to these adults and teenagers’ life stories made me realize that their
suffering started long before they had their mental illness or got in trouble
with the law. Then, I started working
with elementary school-aged children, their families, their teachers, and their
peers. Alongside, I had two children of
my own and something felt right! I would wake up in the mornings feeling eager
to get started with the day! Having worked with all of the age groups and
seeing the “circle of life,” it dawned on me that this is the best way I can
provide mental health services that will impact the most number of people. At this point, I fully understood the old
adage “Prevention is better than cure” and ever since, I have been advocating,
educating, and providing clinical care to children and families, especially
focusing on parenting issues.
It’s worth sounding like a broken record when I say
that I wholeheartedly believe that a strong, healthy parent-child relationship
is at the core of good mental health, for the family unit and its members. Generally speaking, most parents want to have
good relationships with their child and vice versa. However, there can be a variety of reasons
that get in the way of developing and/or maintaining healthy parent-child
relationships. The reasons may be
financial, cultural, generational, health challenges, and many more, but all of them impact mental health whether
they are the parent, the child, or both.
I did not completely realize the full impact of the parent-child
relationship on one’s mental health and overall happiness until I had the
opportunity to work with all age groups over the course of my professional
career. One will be surprised to know
how many successful people’s unhappiness stems from their parent-child
relationship problems.
Just recently, I read an article about the megastar Bruce
Springsteen, who has been battling with depression for years and the root of
the problem went back to his childhood and the relationship with his father (http://www.nydailynews.com/entertainment/music-arts/bruce-springsteen-battles-depression-suicidal-thoughts-early-80s-cusp-superstardom-article-1.1121264). I commend The Boss for openly talking about
his depression because it not only helps him clinically, but also helps many more who are
suffering from depression and other mental health issues. When someone of that
caliber talks, it normalizes the situation and people start listening and
seeking help. Lastly, I am ecstatic to
hear that our nation’s leaders have finally recognized the dire need to make
mental health services a priority, especially for our youths. This is a great
step in the right direction as we make the social fabric of our nation
stronger!
Anshu
R. Basnyat is a Licensed Clinical Professional Counselor (LCPC) in private
practice in Ellicott City, MD. She
specializes in parenting and multicultural issues. Anshu lives in Ellicott City with her husband
and two children. She is fluent in
English, Nepali and knows some American Sign Language, Hindi, and Spanish. If
you are interested in a free consultation regarding mental health and/or
parenting coaching, please contact her at (240) 289-3713 or via Email:
anshu.basnyat@gmail.com.
